Everything is connected. Everything works in layers.
after months of spiritual baths (see my post about those here) the next thing that presented itself to be worked on was locating where in my physical body the voice of the colonizer lived. It took me a couple months of concentrated effort to find it's home and where i found it surprised and didn't surprise me.
your journey with identifying and tracing the colonizer and the colonizer's voice will be wholy and soley your own and i look forward to hearing about it.
it took me a couple weeks to stop crying, get out of bed and start taking walks once i moved to the country. it was on those walks surrounded by wild growth that i began to notice the deep terror and fear that clutched the lower half of my body.
how long have i been living with this feeling?
where was it coming from?
why was it showing up so strongly as my relationship with the natural landscape that held and comforted me was getting deeper?
i'm not sure when it clicked but in the tangled mass of learning to discern the fear voice of fear inside my head and the voice of my ego, it also occured to me that the voice of colonizers was following me and coursing through my blood.
it most acutely manifested itself in my butt, my vagina, my uterus, and my low back. as i spent more and more time tracking and observing it, i began to see and feel the long talons it had sunk into the generative/pleasure packed places of my body.
where do you think it lives in you? in what ways can you dream of getting free? <3